In Case You Ever...

In case you ever think about taking two sick kids (say a 4 year-old and a 1 year-old) on a 3 and 1/2 hour long road trip--please take my advice and don't do it! Let me tell you what will happen...

#1--Scratch the "3 and 1/2 hour road trip" part--make that at least a 5 hour road trip.

#2--You'll load up the car and your one year-old will puke in the car while your still in the driveway.

#3--About 30 minutes into the trip, your husband will be on the phone with a nurse asking how you can tell the difference between a concussion and the flu in your 1 year-old (he fell down the steps before you left). Also, your dehydrated 4 year-old will say she has to go potty. You will stop and she will not go.

#4--About 1 hour into the trip, you will stop to eat supper and everything will appear normal...but don't get too relaxed.

#5--A little over an hour into the trip, your 4 year-old will throw up all of her drink and the two bites of food she ate.

#6--About the same time, you will send a prayer up to God...you'll be thanking the God who created the universe for also creating your wonderful husband who remembered the puke bucket and your wonderful daughter who has learned to ask for the bucket before she pukes.

#7--You will pull over on the side of an extremely dark 2-lane highway to empty the puke bucket. You will use a bottle of water to rinse out the bucket and you will splash water (or is that puke?) on your bare feet.

#8--You'll drive about another 20 minutes down the road before you need to stop again. This time it will be to change the diarrhea diaper on your one year-old. You will wonder who (in this town with a population of 20) is watching you out of their window wondering who you are and what you are doing in the parking lot of their church. You will feed your child a bottle knowing full well that he is going to puke it back up. But, it's that or listen to the crying...

#9--About another 1/2 hour down the road, he will puke up that bottle that you just fed him. You will pull into a gas station that's closed and use their paper towels and your wipes to wipe down him and his carseat. Then you will put him back in that carseat that was just full of puke and keep driving.

#10--If you're like me, you will cry at this point in the trip. You're not even half way.

So, if you're thinking about planning a trip with 2 sick kids, let me make the decision for you: don't go. Drink a big glass of orange juice, Lysol yourself and your bed, crawl in and pull the covers over your head.